Just another day in Africa

　
Achieving nothing can sometimes take a whole day in Africa. Achieving anything at all can take a even longer. Patience might be a virtue in the first world, but here it’s a necessity.

I have spent nearly whole day trying to send a five page fax . Yes a fax. (Does anyone remember faxes?) But let me first explain why I had to send a fax in the first place.

After Terminal A (see under 'Spanish bastards' in previous blog) failed to issue a ticket in time for Elle’s flight to Botswana, I was left with no alternative but to purchase a flight last minute directly from the airline itself, in this case, South African Airways. (Incidentally, the journey time is about three hours and cost almost £600).

Having given my credit card details, I was required to produce my credit card and passport at check-in to confirm my identity. This was duly done and Elle boarded her flight.

However on arriving in Johannesburg, she was told that unless she had copies of my identification and credit card plus signed authorisation from me, she couldn’t continue her journey. (Fortunately after some persuasion, they relented but told her she would need the documentation for the return leg of her journey).

Fast forward a week and my credit card has been debited the amount but still the airline insists that she must produce documentary proof that the credit card belongs to me and that I authorised the payment. So this morning, I visited the airline’s office in Bulawayo and again produced my passport and credit card. This however was not enough and I was told I would have to fax copies of all my documents to Elle to produce on departure.

Now bear in mind, I have had no telephone contact with Elle for over a week because she has no reception and I’m in a country whose telephone system barely works at the best of times. So I’m hoping Elle will email me at some point, so I can tell her to find a fax machine somewhere which I can fax my document copies to. Better odds in a game of chance.

So finally we do make contact and she finds a fax machine. I have found a fax machine too and I have the number of her fax machine in the hotel in Gaberone where she is staying tonight. But then my fax machine won’t fax because it’s in Zimbabwe and nothing feckin works here. So then, we decide to scan the documents into the computer and email them. However, Elle has no internet service on her computer and can’t access her emails. It’s now 9pm in the evening and her flight is 7.45am tomorrow morning. She then suggests I email them to the hotel where she is staying but then discovers they don’t have a direct email address. (They have fax machine but no direct email? Need I say more…) EVENTUALLY Elle persuades the hotel to open up their business centre so she can access her emails. So after almost twelve hours, she finally receives the documents she needs to produce in order to fly tomorrow morning.

As I lie in bed typing this, I have a strange feeling that this is not over yet.